Word on the street is that Girl Scout cookies are back on sale tomorrow.
This will, no doubt, strike some as awful timing. Likely those for whom "losing weight" was the very first resolution made after the alcohol wore off. But to those savvy little Girl Scouts, the timing couldn't be better.
After all, enough time has passed now to remember 1) celery gets caught in your teeth, and there's a reason why kids only eat it with peanut butter; 2) the gym not only smells, but sounds like a trauma center; and 3) you would trade your automobile for a warm baguette and butter, no questions asked.
Those sweet little tycoons in the badge vests outside of Wal-Mart have seen our collective hunger. We've had twelve days of Christmas dieting and are poised perfectly between choosing a psychotic episode or a package of Nutter Butters.
Someone could show me documentation from NASA that Samoas contain tar and I would grab their shirt and demand to know where they were keeping them. Scientific testing, yeah, yeah, that's why I want 'em. I'm a researcher, bent on discovering the addictive properties in coconut. They've been putting the stuff in our water, or haven't you noticed?
So, yes, I will be out there, cruising parking lots for a sighting of those green uniforms. I'll be carrying cash, since I've heard the little buggers won't take celery.
